Ottawa, Ontario: While taking another extended break from his duties in the House of Commons, Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre held an impromptu press conference near Capital Hill this morning.
“It’s an indisputable fact that Justin Trudeau has been crushing the middle class for years,” said Poilievre to a crowd largely compsoed of curious office workers on their lunch break and what appeared to be homeless people. “I say, okay. He’s had his fun, but now it’s my turn.”
The decline of Canada’s middle class has been a primary focus of conservative parties across the country as of late, and more so in what’s looking to be the closing months of the Trudeau Era.
“I say it’s unfair. Why does Trudeau get to have all the fun of watching his policies and inaction almost singlehandedly destroy the wealth of every generation after the Boomers? The fact that he’s hasn’t stepped down yet is a disgrace. I mean, come on, save for destruction for the rest of us.”
When asked how he plans to continue the Liberal’s legacy of pummeling middle class Canadians into a fine dust, Poilievre, along with most other senior Conservatives have been moot.
“All I can say is, move over Liberals,” continued Poilievre. “You’ve had your time in the sun and now it’s my turn to royally fuck things up.”
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