(Ottawa, Ontario): Continuing their longstanding streak of delivering the goods to Canadians from coast to coast, the federal NDP declared its commitment to continuing to bring home wins for Canadians.
Recent wins by Jagmeet Singh and the NDP for Canadians include opening the door to wider pharma care, rolling out dental care gradually for Canadians, as well as being the sole party to oppose rampant price increases on essential purchases such as groceries.
“We think that government should win things for people, instead of loafing around and waiting for elections,” said NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh. “If you look at how things are today, it’s insane that most Canadians are struggling to pay their bills while big corporations are reaping record profits. That’s why we try to score wins for Canadians and not simply focus on earning cheap political points.”
According to recent surveys across the nation, however, most Canadians are downright livid at the NDP strategy, as well as their remarkable political history of delivering the goods since the party’s inception.
Calgary resident Bill Bryce was kind enough to share a few words with a member of our local team on the ground that really summed up what a lot of Canadians seem to be feeling right now.
“It’s bullshit,” said Bryce. “As someone who bases the entirety of their identity around being against everything that left wing parties stand for, I’m naturally seething at the NDP. Who does this Jagmeet fellow think he is every time he tries to upset my worldviews like that? The NDP need to step aside and put an end to this nonsense of scoring wins for Canadians or I might start to question who I am and who I vote for.”
Similar sentiments were expressed across the nation, including Toronto, Ontario’s largest city.
“As a 30-year-old who makes less than a living wage and will statistically never be able to afford to live anywhere but my parent’s basement, I’m aghast,” said Ted Tump, a student and dishwasher by profession. “Does the NDP think a steady string of wins is going to change anything? Hell, I’m young and healthy and have all my teeth. What the hell do I need dental care for? What we really need is some tax cuts for the rich so that the benefits can finally trickle down to us.”
Surprisingly, there were a few supporters of the recent wins scored by the NDP. Among them, in the Maritime Province of Nova Scotia.
“It’s quite wonderful what they’re doing, honestly,” said Halifax resident Tina Turnbaker. “My husband and I didn’t have any insurance and it’s been next to impossible to make ends meet with rising inflation and the out-of-control costs for his medication and necessary dental procedures for the kids. Wins that the NDP deliver make a difference for people like us.”
When asked which party they plan on voting for next election, Turnbaker was unequivocal.
“Naturally, I’ll be voting Conservative in the next election,” said Turnbaker. “So, what if the Conservative Party’s done nothing for Canadians in 10 years but try to block essential legislation and make fart noises in the House of Commons? Don’t they deserve a chance to govern too?”
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